At Home With Rowena

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

In memory of Michael

Following on from my last post, I think another reason I felt compelled to write what I did, was because unknowingly at that time, a dear friend of ours took his own life. He had been the victim of antisocial behaviour from his neighbours, and obviously couldn't take any more. He had complained repeatedly to the council, who took the word of the rest of them against him. He was afraid to go home - there had been no physical violence - just the threat of it - and it all combined to unhinge his mind to the point where he was convinced he had been fitted with  a tracking device so they could watch his every move and 'get him' as he put it. The last time we saw him was just prior to Christmas - and then he disappeared. It was assumed he was sleeping rough, as despite frequent checks at his flat, there was no answer and never any lights on. When we asked the police and missing persons helpline for assistance we were told they could do nothing because we weren't relatives. Ironically it was the nasty neighbours themselves who alerted the police when they said there was a bad smell coming from his flat - that would have been about 5 weeks after Mick finally decided to end it all, and nobody knew because they wouldn't take notice of his friends who weren't family. Yet when Mick approached his BROTHER for help he was told to 'fuck off'.

Never mind, Mick, you're at peace now. No-one can hurt you.
God bless.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

A New Year

Hi folks, and wishes to everyone for a happy and healthy New Year! It's sad but true that it won't be either for some people - and unfortunately that's what you get for living on the physical plane. I try to view life as a learning process where sometimes the lessons are great fun and at others, they're just bloody awful and you can't wait for the bell to ring so you can go home! Now there's an analogy that makes me think of the poor souls who are so distraught that they take their own life. Whilst in my head I don't agree with this drastic way of ending a troubled life, it makes my heart ache for those who feel there is no other recourse. And who knows what any of us would do if we were to find ourselves in such a precarious position? A position of fear of not being able to cope with whatever we feel life is going to throw at us next. And that fear can show itself in many forms - financial, physical, romantic, social, spiritual, and many others. In all these areas I think we each need to feel that we are in 'a good place', and if there is a serious defecit in one it upsets the whole balance. It can be hard to see things from someone elses point of view if that particular area of your own life has never been affected in a negative way. Sympathy could be found for those who take such drastic action if we apply our own thoughts and actions of part of our own life's journey where we have felt at the end of our tether, and then apply that feeling to others. In my drama/theatre studies I learnt that what triggers a particular emotion for one person will have the opposite or no effect on another - to get the same 'feeling' you have to push a different button, so to speak. What I'm trying to say, if rather long-winded, is that at the end of the day, the emotions that are felt in desperate times are the same for everyone regardless of the event/events that caused it. Thank you if you've read this far; I didn't intend it to go this way, and have even left a couple of weeks after beginning this line of thinking to see if it would go - but it won't. For some reason I've felt compelled to write about this. I believe we are all connected on an invisible web, and that maybe one of you will read this and pass the thoughts to someone who has lost a loved one and is unable to understand why.

Blessings to all.

Now! Ironically, I was tagged by a couple of friends, to name ten things that don't cost money, that I'm grateful for - I think that was the gist of it - it's taken me so long to get on with this that can't remember the exact wording! Anyway, here goes:

1. My family. It hasn't always been an easy relationship, particularly with my Mum, but ever since someone suggested that there was no point dissing her for not being the maternal mom I thought she should be, to accept that maybe it was a simple fact that she couldn't be - for whatever reason. The moment I thought about it my heart instantly unlocked, and now we have such a good relationship. I can honestly say that I really and truly love my Mum, and I know that she loves me too! The one who gave me this gift did not know at the time how priceless it was. I told him later, and he knows he has my eternal gratitude!

2. Planet Earth for providing me with a home in the material world.

3. Inventors, past and present. They all take the building blocks of creation and mould it them into different things that make our lives easier.

4. Authors for writing their novels which give me hours of pleasure, and no, I'm not talking about erotic fiction!

5. All those involved in film and theatre.

6. The animal and plant kingdoms - esp. small furry things!

7. Hot English summers. Not something we get very often over here!

8. The sound of music - not the film of the same name, though!

9. My personal spiritual experiences. They serve to remind me that we are indeed eternal beings with a past and a future!

10. The gift of humour - nuff said!

No pics this time - just the message.

Blessings everyone, till next time!